Fickle in Love
by Nyachu-chan
Summary: Maybe, once, she could have loved Percy like Nico loved him. If she did, that was a long time ago and now all she knew was that she couldn't even attempt to love Percy half as much as Nico did. But she loved him anyways. /Percabeth, Lukabeth, Pernico, platonic Nicobeth. Onesided relationships./


_**A/n: **I accidentally thought of Pernico after I saw a link to the trailer for the new PJO movie. I never even heard of Pernico before but I thought they'd look cute together ... Before then, I'd completely shipped Percabeth. But I /had/ thought that Lukabeth was a possibility, I think. I haven't read the series in a long time, and haven't read the HOO one, either, but because of all the fics and pics I've seen, I decided to try my own hand at this. I apologize in advance for whatever happens._

_**Disclaimer: **I'm pretty sure I'm a female. Is Rick a female? Nah, he isn't. Is that a good enough reason for you?_

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There was the dull sound of thunder overhead as she simply breathed, her eyelids fluttering open, grogginess sweeping through her like a gentle wave. She was spent, her muscles coiled and tense and Percy draped across her. His breathing was calm and steady, his breath tickling her cheek as she glanced over at him, sleep breathing into her and promises of nice dreams being ushered to her, despite how emotionless she felt right now.

A shadow loomed in the corner and cautiously, she glanced over, grey eyes uninterested but alarmed, and instinctively she reached for a knife that she left at Percy's bedside table before recognition flashed in her eyes and her hand fell limpy to the covers again.

"Nico?" she whispered, her voice hard and sharp despite how tired she was. It wouldn't have been the first time that she saw him, just creeping in the shadows. Her thin lips pulled into a frown and she gently untangled herself from Percy's grasp, shoving his hands away from her waist and swinging her legs across the edge of the bed. The sheets fell from her body, like rain water pooling off of her. She stares at the creeping shadow as it lengthens and spreads, growing a form until it's only a few inches taller than her and sprouting features that she recognizes.

For a moment, she forgets that she's naked, that she's bare to the world and to Nico, but it is all that she could do to stumble to her feet, the walls of the cabin swimming around her as she lurches towards him. "You came back," she says flatly, for a moment, her long curls draping across her back and shoulders like a curtain, framing her sharp features and pale lashes outlining her dark eyes.

She raises her hand before she can think and openly strikes him, the slap ringing through the cabin but proving silent to the oblivious sleeper in the bed. She scowls at him, ignoring the way that his eyes widened just for a moment before he's smiling coyly.

"Yeah, Persephone was planning on returning earlier than usual just so that she can leave sooner," he says nonchalantly, but that caused the blonde to pause and consider his words. Whatever brief flash of anger she had felt at him for barging in melted away the moment that she noticed the way his eyes flickered over to Percy; she didn't fail to notice the tightening of his expression but he glanced at her again, an uncertain emotion in her eyes. "You're still with Percy, Annabeth." It was probably intended as a question but in that moment, she felt like it wasn't. Annabeth heard the quaver in his voice, the mild disbelief and the sound of hope shattering.

"I know," she whispered then, her voice softening as she mindlessly brushed aside a lock of hair out of her face, her expression softening as she placed her hands along the sides of his face, feeling the maturing features. It hadn't been the first time that she suspected something like this, but it was something unavoidable. It was one of those facts about Nico, something important but so well known it's almost faded into the background, kind of like him. She felt saddened by that thought, and for a moment, all she wanted to do was hold him and protect him. And it pained her that she couldn't see him happy.

"You're naked," he deadpanned after a moment, his eyes not even trailing down her lithe frame like many other boys his age might've done. She smiled tightly and stepped back, her dark eyes full of emotions as she nimbly walked over to the bedside and looked through the scattered clothing, slipping on Percy's childish Spongebob boxers and her own Camp Half-Blood t-shirt. Or perhaps it was his? She wasn't certain at the moment.

Annabeth glanced back up in time to notice the shadows start to cling onto Nico, and with a sharp cry of protest, the shadows peeled away from him and he stepped back into the lighting, where she could watch him easier. She chewed the inside of her cheek, contemplating and deciding if perhaps this was what she wanted.

With a sigh that breezed through her lips quickly, she slipped into Percy's sandals and guided the son of Hades out onto the doorstep, just beneath the overhang of the roof, the rain pounding heavily as the autumn winds blew through. They were lightly dampened from the steady drizzle but she ignored it, tugging on his wrist until they stood out of the window's view and dragged him down next to her as she crouched.

Nico crouched next to her and she cast her dark grey gaze towards him and pursed her lips. He looked like a zombie, waiting to pounce, dark bags beneath his dark chocolate eyes, locks of his hair in tangles and maybe just a bit too long, his aviator jacket clinging loosely to his body and his army boots threatening to fall apart. Annabeth reassuringly reaches out and grips his hand, feeling the roughness of his palms and how long and scrawny his fingers are.

He doesn't look at her; she didn't expect him to. She tightened her grip on him, feeling the coldness seep into her own palms from his body and she subconsciously shivered. She pulled her lips into a frown and brushed her bangs out of her face with her free hand. "Nico, we need to talk about this," she ushered, glancing over through the doorway, as if expecting Percy to magically float towards the door. As if reading her mind, the son of Hades reached over and kicked the door closed, startling Annabeth for a moment.

"We don't have to talk about anything."

She dug her fingers into his hand until he glanced over at her, glancing up at her from beneath his bangs, almost as shy as a fawn. Sighing, she released his hand and let him draw his knees to his chest and prop his arms up and press his face into the crook of his arms. Annabeth had completely beat around the bush and hadn't bothered to soften the blow. Was it wrong of her to confront him about this? They had this exact conversation, many times before, and yet it never ceased to stop the loop. The blonde preferred for everything to be in sync, for things to make sense and for everything to have a routine. Was it wrong of her to step out of the loop now? Swallowing back the doubt, she smiled coyly like all the other nights and continued, the record stuck on repeat and continuing endlessly.

"You have to talk to somebody about it," she persisted, crossing another milestone in their broken record. "It's not good for you," and once again, she continued. "Jason already knows about it; you can't keep running to him all the time. He has a life to get to too, you know. I know you're best friends and all, but ... you should get out more. You could talk to me."

"Yeah, sure," he drawled out, the words tumbling out of his mouth before she even finished her own speech. How long would they run on this loop? "I might as well confess to you, even if I couldn't confess to him. I wouldn't be surprised if Aphrodite found out and told all the gods." He glanced up from the crook of his arm, a defeated look on his face.

"Half the camp knows," she promised, watching him with a sorrowful gaze as he simply sighing and dug his face into his arms again, not glancing up from where his head rested on his knees. "It doesn't mean that you shouldn't talk to anyone about it; trust me, I know Percy. I know what you're going through, Nico. You don't have to do this alone."

Nico didn't waste a heartbeat as his reply came out, soft and broken, "But I'm already alone." Then their conversation ended into silence, the drone of the rain pounding heavily above their heads, slicking everything despite it being the Poseidon cabin. Annabeth sighed before boldly reaching out, the hesitation dying in her eyes as she gently wrapped her arm around him, the dull heat radiating from him made her think idly of coffins and cold crypts.

"You don't have to be alone." She said, predicably, because they've done this so many times it's almost like a second language to them. The silence stretched between them, the rain the only company they had as the thunder rolled. "I'll always be here for you, don't forget that; you have people who care about you and want to help you." She could feel him stiffen beneath her grip, the pause in her sentence leaving it open for interjection. She knew that he knew that this was off the record, that it wasn't like her to get out of sync like this, that they hadn't really talked about it before. "You have to talk to someone about this, Nico, before you waste away."

Her grey eyes held defiance and honesty as the son of Hades slowly raised his head to look at her, a mildly baffled look on his face, which gave her even more reason to pause. There was such hope on his face that it almost blinded her; but then it was snuffed out like a candleflame and he began to recoil from her. "Don't you see, Annabeth? I've already gone."

"No, Nico, you're not. You're still here and living," as if to prove her point, she pushed him back so that his back thumped against the wall and her palm was pressed firmly against his chest, and for a moment she saw naked fear flash across his face, reminding her of all that he had gone through; the Hades' lives were horrible, she knew, they would often lead unhappy lives. Nobody ever truly accepted the Hades' children, and eventually the loneliness nipped and tore at them until they became ghosts of themselves. How much longer must she see him break?

Annabeth leaned forward, slightly damp and messy curls tumbling across her shoulders and her tight muscles coiling as she drew him into a hug. How much longer must she see him endure this pain? If anybody deserved happiness, it was Nico; he had traveled alone during his dark path, with nobody to help him. He had every right to be mistrustful when she offered aid now.

"Are you jealous?" she whispered, closing her eyes and simply breathing in all that the Ghost King was. He smelled like nightshade, coffee and burgers, although the scent of deep soil overthrew that; he smelled earthy and lonely and wonderful, and it simply tugged at her how someone like Nico could be so broken.

She could feel his head shaking against her shoulder as she tried to smooth down his hair. "No, I'm not," he confessed, his words muffled by the tangerine t-shirt. "I have no reason to be jealous of you." She could feel his soft breath and his own breathing shudder through her.

"So you mean you don't love Percy," she stated, combing her fingers through his dark hair that was too much like Percy's, that felt brittle and coarse but she loved it all the same. Annabeth felt him stiffen ever so slightly, before he relaxed and weakly chuckled into the crook of her neck.

"Nah," he confessed. "I'm still in love with him. I have been since I was ten." Whatever Annabeth was about to say died on her tongue. She didn't stop her movements and continued to make soothing noises as his grip tightened on the back of her -Percy's?- shirt. She could feel him sigh before he leaned back, out and away from the comfort that the daughter of Athena promised. She looked at him, truly looked at him, and saw him for what he was. A heartbroken boy who had been through too much, too young, and too quickly. "I don't think I'll ever stop loving him."

Annabeth cupped the sides of his face, forcing his dark eyes to flicker to her's, grey meeting brown calmly. "I know," she whispered, her pale lashes fluttering closed as she sighed and leaned away, a soft and sad look on her face. "I know you do." Dark emotions flickered across his face but then he pulled his lips into a line and shook his head, the words tumbling quickly out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"You don't understand."

Annabeth smiled wistfully at him before curling a lock of blonde hair behind her ear and glancing up at the sky, dark clouds curling and twisting, pattering the ground with rain. "Yes, I do," she sighed, "I understand all too well what you're going through." She picked at a loose string at the hem of her t-shirt, a dark and sullen look filling her eyes as she dared to look up at his face. "I understand this more than you'll ever know." She closed her eyes, memories swimming to the surface before she could stop them. With a shuddering gasp she felt a pair of cold arms wrap around her, and when that familiar scent hit her, she nearly sobbed. "I know it's not fair, Nico, but being a demigod always comes with a price," she whispered into his ear, pressing her nose to his hair and trying to stiffle her chokes because they couldn't wake up Percy and that would end horribly for both of them. "Nobody ever wants to pay the price, but someday, you're going to have to."

Nico's grip tightened on her, his body jutting into her strangely and with a vague familiarity, and yet somehow they still fit together. "What was his name?" he asked, a distant curiousness soaking his voice and she had to twist away from him to properly look at him. Absently, she brushed aside a lock of his ebony hair and smiled through her tears, trying to comfort him just as much as herself.

"Luke," she confessed, running her hands through her blonde curls and pulling her hands away with a sharp and painful yand. Nico looked perplexed but didn't stop her as she continued trying to comb through her hair before he gently pulled at her hands, his large hands placed firmly along her wrists until he set her hands in her lap and gently began to untangle the knots from her hair as she spoke. "He was a son of Hermes and ..." She sighed, glancing wistfully at the skies, lightning rippling through the clouds, thunder rumbling in the distance.

"Well, you know about him. But I loved him. I would have left with him and joined Kronos' army if it hadn't been for Percy." There was a slight hesitation on Nico's part before he continued to gently pry the strands of hair apart, loosening the knots before uncurling them and letting the lock of hair tumble across her brow. "He asked me to stay," she added. "Not verbally, but I knew he needed me. That he loved me. But Luke was my hero, he saved me even if he failed to save others. He was there for me when I needed it, but when he needed me most ... I abandoned him." She laughed darkly, a somber sound that vibrated through her. "Of course, I knew it was a mistake. I knew it even as I turned my back; but it was because Percy needed me. I was so busy worrying about making a name for myself, turning myself into a hero for somebody else when ... when all I did was forget about my own hero. If I could, I would stop Luke from doing it. I would stop everything for him."

"...Would you stop your relationship with Percy to be with him?" Came Nico's soft voice from behind her, earning a soft gasp of pain as he combed through her hair, to which he uttered an unconvincing apology.

"Yes," Annabeth confessed after a moment, her heart aching and her head swimming but she didn't regret saying it aloud. "Yes, I think I would. Don't you understand? I loved him, Nico, I truly did. I would do anything for him, now, but he's dead and Percy is all I have left." She turned to him then, her neat curls now tumbling and cascading around her like a golden waterfall, the rain slicking them and causing them to shiver, but they made no move to head inside the cabin.

"Percy loves you," Nico stated flatly. Annabeth hadn't needed to be told that. With a sigh, she closed her dark eyes briefly, a grimace shooting through her. Yes, she knew that, she had always known that. It only caused her heartache to know that she could never love Percy like he loved her. Opening her eyes, she looked at Nico. His olive-toned face was full of idle determination, a bit of awe glassing over his eyes, but she didn't miss the mildest hints of admiration there. She smiled, a true genuine smile that hadn't felt like it was faked.

"I know," she whispered, suddenly all too aware of the rain pouring down around them and how soaked they completely were. She reached forward and brushed aside a lock of hair that fell across the son of Hades' brow, which earned her a perplexed expression but he did nothing more than that. "He loves you, you know." She added, as an afterthought, her voice quiet and confident, but she looked at him with such sorrow that he had to avert his eyes.

"But not the way I love him."

"No. Never the way you love him." There was no jealousy flickering in Nico's gaze, just a sad fondness that caused Annabeth to cringe in ways that revolting monsters never could. He grinned grimly, looking more like his father than the daughter of Athena dared to admit. And there, as he looked at her, she saw the love that was felt for the son of Poseidon, the love that knew no bounds, the truest of forms that didn't even let jealousy factor into it, the eternal and forgiving essence of the gods, and she knew, just then, that he would love Percy more than she could ever hope to love him - and she was fine with that.

Her answer was all that he needed and he stood up, the conversation finally off of the repeated loop. There was a softness -a vulnerability- to his expression, and as the shadows coiled eagerly to his side and began to robe him like a cloak, she truly realized how human he was. He was all angles, practically a walking skeleton but yet as she looked at him she saw how completely in his element he was.

"You don't love him either," he said, as the shadows coiled and curled around him, beckoning him but he waved them off, keeping his gaze steady with Annabeth's. "Not truly, not like he loves you." It was an observation, not meant to offend, but the truth lurked just beneath his words that even Percy would have been able to decipher it. With a soft sigh, she curled her toes and looked up into his face, into his equally dark eyes that were clouded with shadows and demons of his own.

"No, not really."

Nico nodded, as if that answer satisfied him, but before he could shadow travel out of there, she raised her voice and called him back. "But you'll always love Percy, won't you?" her voice wavered slightly, the rain almost drowning out her words, but the way that Nico looked at her was enough of an answer, without him even needing to speak.

"Yeah." But then the shadows had clouded him over, and slowly, almost cautiously began his descent into the shadows, his form becoming almost without an outline, save for the reflection of his eyes as he glanced over at her. There was a soft and gentle look that she knew would only be reserved for Percy. "I think I always will." Without waiting for Annabeth's response he leaped into the rest of the shadows, which gradually receded until there was no sign of the demigod ever being there.

With a hiccup, the blonde stood up, the rain soaking through her clothes and drenching her to the point of it sticking to her frame, outlining her frame as she moved to open the door, gently swinging it open and leaving outlines of her footprints on the floorboards as she made her way back to the bed, gradually peeling off the wet clothes and tossing them aside and pulling back the covers and slipping in beside the son of Poseidon.

As the storm finally receded and the faintest traces of dawn seeped through the window, she graced herself by looking upon the peaceful expression on Percy's face. No, she may not love him, and certainly not as purely as Nico loved him, but she would not let his love go wasted. Even though she knew love once, and had given it up for Percy, she would never leave him. That was a certainty that all the gods had seen.

She pressed herself against Percy, she tipped her head forward to kiss his mouth, the faint taste of sea water and blueberry cupcakes lingering on her lips long after. But it was with an aching heart, the taste of Percy on her lips, and with the scent of coffee, nightshade, and soil still in her nose that she fell asleep, waiting for the new day, with Percy beside her. They may have been demigods, and their lives will be cruel and short, but it didn't mean that they had to spend it alone. Never, would Annabeth leave Percy alone, ever again.


End file.
